Saturday, August 28, 2010

Sea Monsters

The theory that I will explore and explain tonight is that of the SEA MONSTER! That’s right. The SEA MONSTER! Or Monsters! Plural, for you grammar geeks. Lets get on with it. There is 2-3% of the ocean that we still have not explored. The pressure is far too great for us to travel that far. That’s as much as 100 atmospheres. WOW! Try that on for size. There are about a million estimated "undiscovered" Marine species of our time, and new species are discovered each year. Where am I going with this you ask? Well I will tell you...hang tight. Sea monsters are sea dwelling "mythical or legendary creatures"(so they say!!!), often believed to be of immense size. There are many types of sea monsters, to name a few sea dragons, sea serpents, or multi-armed beasts. They can be slimy or scaly and are often pictured threatening ships or spouting jets of water. The definition of a "monster" is subjective, and some sea monsters may have been exaggerations of scientifically accepted creatures such as whales and types of giant and colossal squid, don't forget the almighty KRAKEN!!!!
Moving right along. How can such a beast exist? You ask. Well I will explain the theory that fuels my mind.
Have you ever seen an old map before? Say maybe the legendary Carta Marina
 
The map was created in Rome by the Swedish ecclesiastic Olaus Magnus(1490–1557) In production for 12 years; the first copies were printed in 1539 in Venice. (Cited Wikipedia)
Notice on this map what you see. Tell me. huh? huh? huh? That’s what I thought. Creatures of the "undiscovered" realm (yells loudly with hands around mouth) SEA MONSTERS! Now this was around the time of sailboats like the Santa Maria, May flower and "all that good stuff". I will come back to that.

Sea monster accounts are found in virtually all cultures that have contact with the sea. Each account remains consistent with each other regardless of the distance away. Weird, that these constancies were around before the dawn of the Internet and Le phone. Just ask Postumius Rufius Festus aka Avienus and Himilco The Navigator
Himilco is the first known explorer from the Mediterranean Sea to reach the northwestern shores of Europe. We know next to nothing of Himilco himself. Himilco sailed north along the Atlantic coast of present-day SpainPortugal and France. Himilco described his journeys as quite harrowing, repeatedly reporting sea monsters and seaweed. Carthaginian accounts of monsters became one source of the myths discouraging sailing in the Atlantic. Himilco was quoted three times by Rufus Festus Avienus, who wrote Ora Maritima, a poetical account of the geography in the 4th century AD. HMMMM.
. Another account of an encounter with a sea monster comes from July 1734. Hans Egede, a Danish/Norwegian missionary reported that on a voyage to Gothaab/Nuuk on the western coast of Greenland[There] appeared a very terrible sea-animal, which raised itself, so high above the water, that its head reached above our maintop. It had a long, sharp snout, and blew like a whale, had broad, large flippers, and the body was, as it were, covered with hard skin, and it was very wrinkled and uneven on its skin; moreover, on the lower part it was formed like a snake, and when it went under water again, it cast itself backwards, and in doing so, it raised its tail above the water, a whole ship length from its body. That evening, we had very bad weather. Other reports are known from the PacificIndian and Southern Oceans. I don’t think we have to explain more examples. Google it you crazy goobs.

So now how can one speculate that they don’t exist? You cannot say they don’t exist just based on the fact that you have never seen one. Most people these days have never seen a cotton gin, but at one point they existed everywhere and still exist today. Just not as widely used. back on track….. Well I will go as far to say that Sea monsters exist. YEP they do. "Why haven’t I seen one?  huuh der. huh" Because beast like that have a soft spot. Most of the sightings that can ever bee explained were from a Pre-Industrial period. The time before massive machines, Ships, Oil rigs. Etc. What all of the “old school old guys” used was a sailboat. Its virtually silent underwater, Its peaceful. No noise, which would explain why fish and marine animals could resume their lives without any disruption under the surface of the water. And I argue that the Industrial Revolution in the 18 and 19th centuries, (which caused major changes agriculture, manufacturing, mining, transport and technology) cause many monster sightings of these types to depreciate over time. (* COUGH* loch ness *cough*) I speculate that they are scared to come back to say hello. So they go alllllllll the way down to the depths of the ocean that we cant discover to hide away so they never have to bite and kill again. IF you ask your self how long say FOREVEEER FOREVEEEEER (squince voice :-p). Now this makes sense. It’s quiet, dark, and peaceful. Yeah. I think you are finally getting it. There have been sightings of carcasses of creatures that no one can explain. Can you say? Disobedient sea monster baby going where he/she wasn't supposed to, so he died and was washed up to the shore. DANG IT!!!! If only he would have listened to NESSY! That is all for now. The rest is for you to decide. Bye I’m running on diesel

                          

YIKES!

I can remember when i was in elementary school, Say maybe 7? there was this sensation that everyone chased. It was the "hip", "cool","Crazy" new, Best thing to ever happen to school supplies. It was the YIKES PENCIL!!! FOR REAL!! YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT! everyone had one, and those that didn't have them wanted them. It made it fun to write essays, and notes. And when you would find them on the floor, you wouldn't put them in the lost and found. You put them in your book bag. It made all the kids crazy! Justin Beiber Eat your heart out! Nothing stole the kids hearts like the YIKES pencil. hahah,. I have no idea why i am telling you this. Yup.